If you do your healing, you’re never going to be the same again - which is after all I imagine why you’d want to do it. You don’t like how you are, it makes you feel bad, and so you do your healing to find out why you are feeling bad, why you are as you are; and when you uncover the truth of it, you’ll change, heal, and that’s what you want, as then you’ll feel better. It’s understandable, however please consider: You are stepping out into the unknown, no one else has done it, and you might find you are all alone. And very alone, with no one you can relate to, no one who will understand you, and no one wanting to listen to all you’re going through. And everything will change... so do you want that? Nothing will stay the same, and conceivably all your relationships might end. They also might not end, but they will change. But if you do sincerely want to live true, well there’s nothing else but to do it... and see what happens. The good part being, as you progress and even though you’ll feel worse and worse, you’ll also feel better and better about what you’re doing, about the progress you’re making within yourself.
I feel so alone, no one understands, not even Marion. No one understands how bad I feel - no one, except God, but what good does that do. And I don’t want to be part of life out there, it’s all horrible, all living untrue, but I can’t leave it and separate myself as much as I’d like - I can’t do anything. And I feel scared, always so scared. I feel so unloved with no one to love me. I feel so bad, always so bad, more bad than I could ever have imagined I could feel. And it just goes on and on, hardly any let up. And yet I know, I can’t go back, I have to keep going, as there is nowhere for me to go anyway.
I feel so alone, no one understands, not even Marion. No one understands how bad I feel - no one, except God, but what good does that do. And I don’t want to be part of life out there, it’s all horrible, all living untrue, but I can’t leave it and separate myself as much as I’d like - I can’t do anything. And I feel scared, always so scared. I feel so unloved with no one to love me. I feel so bad, always so bad, more bad than I could ever have imagined I could feel. And it just goes on and on, hardly any let up. And yet I know, I can’t go back, I have to keep going, as there is nowhere for me to go anyway.