I feel so alone, no one understands, not even Marion. No one understands how bad I feel - no one, except God, but what good does that do. And I don’t want to be part of life out there, it’s all horrible, all living untrue, but I can’t leave it and separate myself as much as I’d like - I can’t do anything. And I feel scared, always so scared. I feel so unloved with no one to love me. I feel so bad, always so bad, more bad than I could ever have imagined I could feel. And it just goes on and on, hardly any let up. And yet I know, I can’t go back, I have to keep going, as there is nowhere for me to go anyway.